Questions for Reflection 

To help you design the perfect wedding, you will want to keep in mind the following considerations: 

1. What do you want to say about your relationship?
2. What stories do you want to tell?
3. Because your wedding ceremony is the public blueprint for what you expect and hope for in your marriage, what do you want to say about the meaning of marriage, both for your own benefit and for that of the gathered guests?
4. What is the style of your ceremony and what is the image you want to project through it?  A theatrical performance, an intimate conversation, a religious ritual, a festival, a gathering of clans, or a formal social event?

Finding an Officiant 

It is very important to find your officiant early, for she or he is an invaluable resource in planning your ceremony and in answering any questions you might have.  In choosing this person, you will want to be sure that she or he is not only willing but able to reflect accurately what you want your ceremony to convey.  You will want to be looking for someone who can be a spokesperson for you, your values and your relationship.  You will want to find someone who can reflect the quality of your love and speak meaningfully to you and your partner.  Think about the following questions: 

1. Does the officiant reflect or embody the spirit you want to create at your wedding?
2. Do you feel comfortable with her or him?  Will you be able to express your preferences about content; speak up about matters of concern in the preparation of the ceremony; voice objections you might have or ask for silly, even seemingly trivial things to be included in the ceremony?
3. Do you like the sound of her or his voice?
4. Do you have a connection with the officiant that allows you to trust that what she or he will say will be appropriate for the two of you?  A person that has a sense of you and understands the uniqueness of your relationship?
5. Above all, will you value what this person has to say?  Will she or he have delightful, meaningful, moving reflections that will elevate the ceremony from ordinary, generic and formal to personal, beautiful and unforgettable?
6. Last but not least, relax in choosing an officiant.  When you are all together, have a consultation, discussing how you celebrate your love and the type of ceremony that you have envisioned, you will know if that minister/officiant is the right one for the two of you.  Something will click and there will be a connection.  I suggest that you interview at least two officiants before deciding because we all work differently.